Brother, Can You Spare A Film/TV Role?

“You know,” My dad said 15 years ago and with some import in his voice, “I’ve been watching that new medical show and I really think you should get a role on there as the brother of the Noah Wyle character.”

I smiled at his “Studio Boss” instincts and said, “Good idea, Dad.  I’ll go down there tomorrow and fill out an application to be his brother.”

In reality, this would’ve been easier to accomplish in the 30′s and 40′s.  The old studio system had “stables” of actors.  Going down and “filling out an application” might’ve actually been a prospect.  But times changed.

The “New Hollywood” industry is just 400 or so agencies representing some 130,000 actors vying for roughly 100 full-time jobs and 2000 temporary jobs (See the PTA letter for a detailed glimpse into the horror).

And since the production of feature films has dwindled, movie stars are looking for employment in TV.  They push all the TV stars into the guest star category, which, in turn, pushes the guest star actors into the co-star category, pushing co-stars into walk-on parts… Eventually even the actors dressed as super heroes on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame get bumped down to being in documentaries.

As for video games?  Jane Lynch said it best on the Emmys:

There are so many movie stars doing TV now that TV stars have been forced into providing voices for video games. And those very same video games are then turned into movies starring the very same people who put the TV stars out of work in the first place. Hakuna Matata, my friends, circle of life?

In my own career, I was slowly, but steadily moving up the food chain before the food chain started shrinking into a Guatemalan bracelet.  Thank God for voice over, baby!  It’s kept these last few years rockin’ and paying the mortgage.

And it may also jumpstart my film career? Say what?  Geran Smith tweeted me a casting tip the other day… Sort of:

@DC_Douglas Hey DC they are doing a casting call for all to get a part in the RE:5 movie, id love to see you in it

Apparently Face Of The Fan is running a “walk-on part” contest for the 5th Resident Evil film.

Are you a fan of the Resident Evil franchise? If you can play an age between 18 – 34, you might be considered for a walk-on undead role in the upcoming fifth installment of the Resident Evil franchise through Face Of The Fan®.  Just submit a video, no longer than :60 seconds, where you tell us why you are the biggest Resident Evil fan as well as which movie from the film franchise is your favorite, and then act out your favorite line from that movie!

Normally I don’t do walk-on parts anymore, let alone audition for them.  And I recently accepted that I don’t look 18-34 after my Botox doctor called me “sir.”  But this is also The Great Recession and I have no shame.  I lost it years ago by hosting a Playboy show.

Of course, this contest is really for all you Resident Evil fans.  The ones who live and breathe the games and films… Oh, okay, so purist gamers hate the films as much as Star Wars fans hated Jar Jar Binks.  But it’s still a great idea.

However, I should make one thing very clear:  If you guys don’t care about a walk-on part (and why would you, really, as it just takes another job away from us actors clinging to the food chain) please, whatever you do, don’t submit my picture and a video of yourself telling them why they should hire Albert Wesker’s voice actor.  That would just be embarrassing for me.  Seriously.  Imagine if a hundred of you did this?  No, no, you musn’t let your voices be heard on this.

Sure, it could be a way to bridge the snarky gap between the gamers and the film franchise buffs.  It might even improve the film.  It definitely would put a good credit on my IMDB page and help restore the balance to Hollywood for all actors…

But, no.  Please.  I’m just not that desperate for film work.  In fact, I write how I’m perfectly fine in my next blog post, “Very Desperate & Sad in LA.”

Anyhoo, the website is www.faceofthefan.com/residentevil5. The deadline is October 3rd.  If you wanted to, you know, “submit” something.

[Yes.  This post is meant as tongue-in-cheek... Mostly.  No, fully... Sort of. Stop it!  No, YOU stop it!]

For a more serious and insightful look into how actors deal with such a difficult career, Please Read With Your Eyes Closed.