Am I kidding? I don't know. Are you rich enough that throwing away this amount of money as a lark doesn't bother you? If yes, then I'm serious as a mother***er. 😂

This fee includes: My airfare, hotel, transportation, moderately priced dinner for two (you and me) and all of our alcohol intake ($250 limit for each of us). You are guaranteed my full attention for 8 hours - from dinner through to 2:00 am. If I pass out before, a brunch will be tacked on to the following day. If you pass out before, I get to keep everything in your pockets.